For your listening enjoyment while reading – Carry On by Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young

My Life Through My Lens. Self Love at 24.

My Life Through My Lens. Self Love and introspection at 24.

 

Rarely do #TBT but I couldn’t help myself when I found this lonely picture at the bottom of a box. I was 24 and had just returned from a trip to Guinea, Africa​ with the lovely women of Marafanyi Percussion and I was starting to unravel. I was deeply moved by the connections made in Africa, though deliberately cut off communication because it was (sometimes still is) my way of coping with loss. I do not like this trait.

In this photo, my walls are covered with pictures from the summer of ’05 Bonnaroo road trip with my two besties from college, Erin and Adrianne, a gigantic poster of Dave Matthews (remember loving his lips in this shot), and a poster of Jim Morrison & his written poetry I had since I was 16​. We were single ladies open to adventure and LOVE!!

Love, the prospect of true love has always inspired me to continue to grow and be the best person I can be for myself and for the man I was going to shack up and make the babies with, haha!

The symbolism of this photograph is quite beautiful.  Did I intentionally leave a space in my heart-shaped hands for another head to fill or is that how I interpret it now? I recall there being a lot of self-love and necessary self-validation reminding me that I was in the right place during that time period. Because of this state of mind, the universe gave me all I ever asked for. I traveled the country with a couple of bands, Bonerama​ and Porter Batiste Stoltz​, from New Orleans for 2.5 years and was introduced to NO-LOVE.

Nearing the end of my time at this music promotional company, I was ready to find a man to settle down with. I was 26 and always felt I was born to be a momma. I looked for love in all the wrong places and sometimes it persistently pushed its way into my life (successfully), held on longer than necessary, and allowed me to catch a fleeting glimpse. I made mistakes but not without a lesson to follow. Some lessons repeated themselves just to make sure I was listening. Lucky me.

More than ever I can relate to that 24-year-old bright-eyed and inspired young woman; I’m single, on the right path, and open to opportunity.  The 26-year-old is present and continues to want a family.  The 32 present self welcomes these parts of herself but will not seek love.  She understands now that love will find a way because love is everywhere.  She is also wise and knows exactly what she wants and will not stay in an emotional holding pattern.

I will allow this photo to foster self-love and remind me that the right partnership will find its way. It is written.

I welcome life’s simple pleasures and will fully embrace the goddess within me, my connection to it all, and my life’s purpose.

Self Love at 32

I love you.

 

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