If only I could write and say exactly what I thought. I would love to know how many thoughts I have in a day. Wait, even better; in a given 30 seconds. I have recently been diagnosed with ADD. This did not come as a surprise to me but no one, not even my teachers, ever mentioned that perhaps the reason I was… ADD. I kid you not, at parent-teacher conference night my fourth grade teacher told my mother that I was an “airhead” because I kept forgetting my trapper keeper at school. That’s right, I had the COOLEST trapper keeper that had a cute closeup of a Doxen Dog. Oh my, I just looked up Doxen Hound and found this lil love nugget:
She also admitted to hiding it from me as a test to see if I would look for it. That was her “benefit of the doubt” story. She said I panicked, as she laughed. My mother wouldn’t allow me to come back for my last year of elementary school.
Wow, it’s been 1 1/2 hours since I started this blog. When I first started this sentence it was “15 minutes I have returned to prove that I’ve had ADHD my whole life. Sorry, got caught up on friend’s interesting facebook articles and then decided to update my status because I was feeling awful about missing one of my favorite bands because my heart was heavy and I didn’t(?) know anyone else who was going.”
6.30.13 from 10:03-10:23PM – “Indecisiveness is going to be the death of me, I tell ya! I don’t remember the last time I didn’t go see a band, whom I LOVE, because I didn’t know of anyone else who was going. I know it would be great for me to let it out and DANCE but I still feel like I’m going to fall apart. Very much out of character BUT I remind myself that I am still in a transformational stage am and learning to fly again. So many obstacles to overcome but grad school starts in two months. Oh my heart. Oh my healing.”
I’ve always felt overwhelmed about the many unfinished projects I have. I always feel that there aren’t enough hours in the day. I’m always thinking about my love relationship and/or friend’s who need some extra healing thoughts. Now, that has magnified. I think of my mother all of the time. We’re closer than I ever thought possible and that just makes my new life that much more challenge. It’s manifests mind and body. I’m in pain all of the time 😦 I’m glad I’m able to write.
Lately, I’ve been keeping busy by excessively cleaning, writing, driving around… but really nothing for myself. The answers are out there. I have all the tools I need – music, mobility, an open heart…
Speaking of tools, I need to go sow a dress. It’s vintage with a Puritan-like (in a cool way) style; flowy bell short sleeves and lace for a high belt… I float in it… and I would rather not go another day without it.
Keep Talking.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoDmX8EdVBQ
“For millions of years mankind lived just like the animals
Then something happenend which unleashed the power of our imagination
We learned to talk
There’s a silence surrounding me
I can’t seem to think straight
I’ll sit in the corner
No one can bother me
I think I should speak now ___________ Why won’t you talk to me
I can’t seem to speak now ____________ You never talk to me
My words won’t come out right ________ What are you thinking
I feel like I’m drowning _____________ What are you feeling
I’m feeling weak now _________________ Why won’t you talk to me
But I can’t show my weakness _________ You never talk to me
I sometimes wonder ___________________ What are you thinking
Where do we go from here _____________ What are you feeling
It doesn’t have to be like this
All we need to do is make sure we keep talking
Why won’t you talk to me _____________ I feel like I’m drowning
You never talk to me _________________ You know I can’t breathe now
What are you thinking ________________ We’re going nowhere
What are you feeling _________________ We’re going nowhere
Why won’t you talk to me
You never talk to me
What are you thinking
Where do we go from here
It doesn’t have to be like this
All we need to do is make sure we keep talking”
Love,
Marinda Snow Love
PS. Love yourself.
Perpetual Motion 